The Best of the Worst
Right now there are all these lists out there—the best movies, the best books, the best everything of 2020. I particularly liked this article, “The Best of the Worst,” by Kate Kooyman in the “Reformed Journal: The Twelve.” The article is below. I also took some of the questions and responded myself. I would love to hear your responses.
What was the best book you read this year?
I discovered Brian Doyle this year (I’m late to the party) and my favorite book is the first of his that I read: One Long River of Song: Notes on Wonder. What a balm for the soul, what a joyous ramble. What fun to laugh, cry, and be touched by Brian Doyle’s observations of the world, people, animals, everything.
What was the best choice you made this year?
This is a good way to make yourself look back on the year, a sort of Examen for the year, as James Martin, SJ, recommends. What choices did I make? Were they good choices that brought me closer to God, or do I feel they were not the wisest choices, and how can I learn from them? The first one that came to mind is my choice to continue Spiritual Direction and Pilates online. I wasn’t sure how helpful it would be to do these things virtually, but they are saving my life, as Barbara Brown Taylor might say. Knowing that I’ll be meeting once a month with my Spiritual Director helps to keep me on track with the Jesuit Spiritual Exercises that changed my life. Nearly every morning I read the verses recommended by Kevin O’Brien in The Ignatian Adventure and spend some time in God’s presence, praying and meditating, and talking and walking with Jesus. Similarly, nearly every morning I do my routine of Pilates exercises. I can hardly believe exercising of any kind has become a habit. These stretches and strength-building moves actually feel good while I am doing them and I do not feel quite right all day if I skip them.
What was your most valuable mistake of 2020?
I think it was devouring too much news at the beginning of the pandemic and during the race relations protests. I always have a hard time figuring out how to stay informed and thoughtful about what is happening in the world while not becoming obsessed and full of anxiety. “Doomscrolling” is a thing. I’ve cleaned up my social media feeds by un-following some things and subscribing to things that are nurturing, and I try to stick to just a few reliable news sources to stay connected.
Best purchase of 2020?
This was a joint purchase by me and Randy: A gardening service to enrich the soil, stepping stones, plants, and a lantern for our front yard. This is one of those “royal we” projects where “we” are landscaping our front yard, but it is giving us both joy. I love seeing the yard from my window, watching the plants develop, and the birds feasting. I also love seeing Randy walking around it, surveying his handiwork, and thinking over what he’ll do next.
How about…
the scariest thing?
the delight of your year?
the eye-opener of your year?
the frustration of your year?
the accomplishment?
the grief?
others?
The best thing about 2020, in general?
This is one of my own questions. For me, the best thing has been being home with Randy. He is super busy at work so had long hours at the office plus a fairly lengthy commute. I have fewer hours at work but various meetings related to the church council and other things in the evenings. When that all switched to happening virtually at home it has meant the two of us are around each other more. For quite a few weeks we worked in the same room. Now even though we work in separate bedrooms, we see each other throughout the day, when we eat our meals together, pass by each other in the hall, walk in to tell each other something. It’s just nice.
The Best of the Worst by Kate Kooyman
What was the best book you read this year?
Mine was Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. I listened to the author read it, actually — revelled in her calming voice as I walked my dog, as I drove past stripmalls to check errands off my list, as I deboned a chicken in my kitchen. Her Indigenous wisdom, her natural-world wisdom, her feminine wisdom filled my menial moments and offered me a whole new way to see, to savor, to participate in the world.
What was the best choice you made this year?
Mine was to join a group spiritual direction cohort. I struggled, all through the fall, to fast every Wednesday from some food, all social media, and most thinking about Trump. I struggled to pray in new ways, and old ways, and more genuine and true ways. I realized the deep connectedness I share with others who simply don’t know how to do this life of faith perfectly, either.
What was your most valuable mistake of 2020?
Mine was thinking that I wanted to try being a church pastor. Going through the process of pursuing a call, and then withdrawing from it, disappointed people I care about. It was awful. And I gained some priceless lessons about my very real flaws, about trusting my gut, and about leaning on grace.
Best purchase of 2020?
Mine was a vintage Pendleton Glacier National Park blanket. It’s so old that the yellow stripe has faded completely, and someone had sewn a silky border around its edges, hiding the pre-1930 label from all the other thrifters at the Salvation Army. It’s the warmest blanket, and it lets me literally wrap myself in my own thrifting vainglory.
The scariest thing?
Racing a travel trailer out of Mexico, toward the heart of a brand new pandemic, no idea what would lay ahead.
The delight of my year was brushing my hand along the barnacled side of a grey whale.
The eye-opener of my year was the murder of George Floyd and what it exposed of the true heart of the white Evangelical church.
The frustration of my year was navigating the relational fallout of a global pandemic.
The accomplishment of my year was keeping a sourdough starter, a fiddle-leaf fig, a bearded dragon, and two children alive and well.
The grief of my year was the thousands of deaths from COVID, some of whom were dear to those I loved, and the unknowns of a socially-distant community of support.
As we round the bend to 2021, I wish I had a sneak-peak for what’s to come. I want to know if the vaccine will change everything, if the economy will stabilize, if my kids will go back to school, if my neighbors will get a puppy. But of course we’re never given this chance to cheat; like every year, we must simply breathe, pray, see with each new day whether the sourdough has bubbled yet again.
No plans, no promises, no goals for 2021. Instead, I invite you to look back on all that 2020 offered you — blessings, overt and hidden — and join me in deep gratitude for what that this year gave and what it took, all that it grew and all that it let die.
I know not what 2021 will bring, but I’m certain that whatever it is… something about it will be the best.
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)