Talking to yourself
When you talk to yourself about yourself, when you think about what you did or said in the course of your days, what do you call yourself, what do you say about yourself?
In an interview I heard, Nadia Bolz-Weber and her guest talked about the story of Job. Nadia said the Hebrew word for the devil is “Ha-Satan” which means the accuser. "The accuser keeps saying, 'It’s your fault' to you, even when it’s not.” Nadia told him Martin Luther said, “It is not God but the devil who rummages through your garbage looking for already forgiven sins and then rubbing your nose in them and saying, this is who you really are.”
“I once asked my congregation to write on a post-it, what is the thought that you have most frequently about yourself to yourself?” said Nadia, “and it’s never ‘you’re doing a great job.’ You know, like, nobody wrote down, oh, the thing I say about myself to myself the most frequently is, ‘I really appreciate how kind you are to other people.’” Then the guest volunteered what he thinks most frequently about himself to himself: “You a**hole.” Nadia’s is, “You are a horrible person.” What do you say? Mine is, “You are so stupid,” and I often elaborate, “You are so stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did you say that?” (Or “do that.”)
Then the guest, as he talks about an episode in his life of which he is deeply ashamed, said, “I was thinking that the devil here, the Satan, was me. You know, I was the accuser for most of it. I was the demon, you know.”
Think about that. Who is saying these condemning, shame-making words to you? Satan -- through you. Maybe you don’t believe in Satan or Jesus. You can think of Jesus and Satan as archetypes. Even so, call it what you will, that accuser in your mind is evil.
Nadia said she doesn’t know “what the interior work is to change it” -- this accuser’s voice in our minds. I don’t claim to know the magic fix, either. What I can tell you is what helps me. Years ago, Anne Lamott wrote about this mean self-talk that we do. She suggested asking yourself, “What would your best friend say?” When I start lambasting myself for something “stupid, stupid, stupid” that I did or said, I stop and think, “What would your best friend Mavis say to you, Mavis?” (Yes, I often call myself by name when I talk to myself.) I imagine the conversation. Both Mavis-me and Mavis-my-best-friend are discussing the event, whatever it was that I said or did. Most of the time Mavis-my-best-friend says something like, “Hmm, well, yeah, that wasn’t great what you did there. Not your finest hour. But, you know what? I still love you. I know you are trying to be kind and good. We all blow it sometimes.” Then the two Mavises might go on to think about ways to make amends or the best next step.
As I listened to the interview with Nadia Bolz-Weber, when the guest said, “The devil, the Satan, was me,” it made me think, “Hey, when I imagine Mavis-my-best-friend saying she still loves me, then Christ, the best friend in the world, is me!” When I listen to that loving, forgiving voice, I am listening to Jesus instead of to Satan.
Which voice would you rather listen to - Jesus’ or Satan’s? May you hear and listen to Jesus’ voice, and know fully and completely that God loves you.
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What can I pray about for you?
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What is this?? A while back, I had an idea. I was thinking of some friends I wanted to pray for, but I didn't have a specific thing to pray about on their behalf. I decided to pray that they would feel God's love. I decided to send them an email when I prayed, so they'd know and be encouraged. Then I thought about my many other family and friends who I would like to encourage with prayer, and decided to start this email.
Two things I try to do:
-- Encourage you with a reminder of God's love. My goal is to avoid anything where the response is "I should..." Just a short reflection of God's love.
-- Pray for you. I'll pray with each email, and please reply to me with anything you'd specifically like me to pray for you. I'll keep it confidential, don't worry..
If you would like to send me specific prayer requests. I will gladly pray with you. Email me at mavis at moonfamily.cc. I'll keep all communication confidential.