Your deepest desires
Thoughts on quotes from "Finding God in All Things," an episode on "On Being." "The most fundamental vocation is to become the person whom God created...Your deepest desires, the things that you're drawn to, the person you're called to be, are really God's desires for you."
Krista Tippet says she loves the use of the word "desire" when she and Fr. Martin discuss vocation. That does seem like an odd word to use. I associate desire with sex -- sexual desire. It's interesting to reflect on another meaning. Fr. Martin uses a married couple as an example when talking about desire. He talks about how a married couple started out desiring one another, they were called to one another. Using that analogy in our relationship with God, it follows that we desire God, and we are called to him. What does that mean? I do feel like I desire to have a relationship with God, and I believe that he is calling me to him. It is part of what grace is -- I turn to him and find he has been turning me toward him all along. It reminds me of this hymn:
I sought the Lord, and afterward I knew
he moved my soul to seek him, seeking me.
It was not I that found, O Savior true;
no, I was found of thee.
Thou didst reach forth thy hand and mine enfold;
I walked and sank not on the storm-vexed sea.
'Twas not so much that I on thee took hold,
as thou, dear Lord, on me.
I find, I walk, I love, but oh, the whole
of love is but my answer, Lord, to thee!
For thou wert long beforehand with my soul;
always thou lovedst me.
Old fashioned words: sought, thee, didst, thy, enfold, storm-vexed, 'Twas, wert, lovedst. They make me smile. They make me slow down. Beyond my desire for God, what are my deepest desires? It seems strange to sit and think about what I want when I'm reflecting on spiritual things. It shouldn't be about me. But what they're saying is that what I desire is what God desires for me. I feel like this has been a kind of circular reflection. What do I desire? What does God desire for me? God desires for me what I desire. What do I desire?.... Enough for now. What do you desire?